A power struggle which can seem quite difficult between parents and their children. Many times when I hear the word adolescent it seems to be tagged to a negative connotation, for example the definition in the dictionary is; growing to manhood or womanhood, youthful. What a lovely definition until I scrolled down and read the synonym; immature, young, teenager. So there it was the negative connotation that many identify with.
we see them become challenging and in some ways we may see them as rebellious. Many translate this to children testing their boundaries, I’m not sure this is the case. In my belief and experience of being a child myself at one point I feel these ‘challenges’ are an expression of their feelings and emotions some of which are overwhelming to deal with, some of which are new, some not understood, some of which are confusing and conflicting to behaviours they once accepted and now they don’t.
What I believe is beneficial for the child in process and progress in transformation of mental shift is nurture and explorative discussions of their conflicting thoughts that wave between what they feel and think, helping them understand and rationally make healthy transitions without frustrations. Guiding them to follow their beliefs without threat and disappointment but with engagement to enhance learning.
One could argue that their child is breaking rules, not listening, getting into trouble. My question is why are the rules being broken, was it a mutually agreed deal to begin with? does the child have the explanation as to why the rules are there and who they benefit? What is the child’s ideology to these rules and does the child have the opportunity for compromise?
I can imagine so many arguments being thrown my way right now, angry parents arguing that they work hard and don’t have time to compromise deals or explain.
Of course I get it and completely understand, however, parenting is a full time commitment as is a job.
Overall it’s easier to deal with the stress of the nurturing, guiding and levelling with children than it is to deal with the stress you and your child may potentially face in the future.
In a nut shell there is no easy way to parent a child, bearing in mind the various levels of easy and difficult. You can not see the future and correct the present day though that would be nice.
With the above in mind you can only do your very best within your abilities, there are no guarantees only journeys and our journeys are our memories.