Not Forgiving

I’m not keen on do’s and don’ts because every situation is unique and effects us all differently.
I will make suggestions on helping yourself from getting sucked into a negative vessel with a few pointers.

Space
Give yourself time and space away from the people that have done you wrong.
Some people are unavoidable, for example a friend you don’t know want to lose or family that are always around at birthdays or Christmas events. You are not obligated to entertain them, however difficult it may be it pays to be civil and polite, don’t react to their wrong doing. Keep a distance between yourselves, if you need to excuse yourself for a while, do so.

Choose your battles
If you feel you can talk it through, do so
Be prepared that they may not agree with your views, that’s fine, at least you know you’ve tried to address the issue. If it is a relationship you appreciate having it would be worth working it out.
On the other hand consider if it is worth the time talking through, if this is their regular behaviour, maybe it’s best to see the differences you both have and re-evaluate your relationship by implementing boundaries to ensure you won’t be affected in the future again.

 

Time
Everything needs time, we are humans with inherited emotions which need to be felt to help us understand the situation, our needs and possible outcomes. During this time it is okay to sit with these feelings and emotions and that is pretty shitty but if you ignore these feelings they’re likely to be suppressed and manifest into something else, usually something horrible. When someone does you wrong it is only natural that you may feel many unwanted thoughts and feelings, it’s what you do with those feelings that count
Before you come to any decisions allow some time to process.

Something I do
Meditation, this helps with reducing anxiety
Find a happy place in my mind like happy or positive memories.
Remember the special people you have in your life that make you feel valued and happy
I stay away from any stimulants as it will add to my anxiety and drink loads of water instead.
When someone has done me wrong I sit with the way it’s made me feel, from this I work out why they may have done what they did, if that isn’t enough of an answer for me I’ll ask myself why it affected me, why did it hurt so much, this is a painful process and the hardest to piece apart. Sometimes you’ll never no why someone wronged you and that should make it easier to let go but it isn’t.
This doesn’t take the pain away but it helps me manage my emotions and to move on. I will constantly remind myself of my worth, what have I contributed in my world around me.

Useful links for meditation

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