Lessons Learned

I can’t believe it, my baby is THIRTEEN, it feels like just a few years ago when I pushed this little 5lb 6oz baby into the world.
For his birthday he wanted a friend to go trampolining with him, I’ve heard so many horror stories that I instantly winced at the thought of it, all the horror stories I heard came flooding back making me squirm.
Then out the blue my mouth starting suggesting things that my brain hadn’t audited first. “LET’S ALL DO IT AS A FAMILY” “IT WILL BE FUN”
Even as I write I sigh with a heavy heart of remorse…for myself.
I made arrangements for his friend to join us, my son chose where he wanted to have dinner, chose what cake he wanted me to bake him and he was on count down till is birthday all week.
His birthday morning arrived, he was so excited and I was so anxious, I’m not sure I can bounce, I’m actually scared of heights, my feet leaving the bouncy mat and my human self in the air, I wasn’t designed to do this. All day I was trying to come up with excuses but couldn’t find one suitable enough to excuse myself ‘he won’t notice if I’m not there’, ‘I don’t feel well’ but then I don’t want to miss TGI Friday’s, ‘I’m scared’ no way can’t say that!
So here we are signing the waiver, I’m signing as slow as possible to eat into our hour. Inside me tears like a wailing child that’s had its comfort blanket taken away, on the outside I have a stiff smile and I’m saying “let’s do this” while my heart is head-banging against an internal wall.
I get on the trampoline and begin to light bounce, “Hey this isn’t that bad”, “oh it’s quite alright actually”, so I decide to go for it, I push off the mat and bounce up spreading my legs wide eagle, like one of those flash dance moves, and there came one of those horror stories I forgot all about, as I was legs spread wide, I felt a trickle off piss and it wasn’t going to stop till I landed but as I came down I bounced back up and out came another trickle, just like 13 years ago I remembered when I lost my dignity.
Lesson learned=you cannot control everything in life

 

 

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