Yesterday’s Story Is Today’s Motivation

I have been training for a few years and I have a love hate relationship with it.
I’m not sure how much I love it and how much I hate it, now it’s sounding like a codependent relationship.
To keep myself in the fitness routine I mix it up so I don’t get bored plus I have many interests from treadmill, weights, kickboxing and high intensity and Pilates. I’m still not happy with how I look but I credit myself with my fitness, besides I always look back to the year before and say what was I complaining about…actually I recently came across old photos when I was much younger and I remembered saying I had a fat tummy, looking at that photo one of where I was particularly paranoid, I mean what did I want…a concave stomach, I even had a waist bah eye rolling moments.
I have not been to the gym as regularly as my 5 times a week for the past two months and I haven’t been to intensity for a year.
I made plans to start my fitness routine last week but got sick so I postponed till this week. Today was my first day back, I made solid plans from the night before because I know without concrete plans I would somehow manage to avoid going.
The key for me is to slowly get out of bed one leg at a time and quietly get dressed before my brain wakes up and screams at an alarming rate “what do you think your doing?”, “you can’t go, it’s raining…cold…you haven’t eaten, your already fat it’s too late” seriously how cruel can my inner bitch be! I’m proud to say I dragged me and my reluctant half to the gym. I thought I’ll just have a run and build myself up gradually until the trainer whom I have a great rapport with asked me to go join his intensity class in 15 minutes, the inner excitable girl jumped at the opportunity “I’ll be there” I shouted with genuine glee, I mean…I was going back baby…forget this gradual malarkey, I’m ready!
15 minutes later I was in the class already hugging my old gym buddies. Warm up was good then we got on the bikes for an intense cycle, I could feel myself getting tired and my heart monitor was pitching 96%, I did try to take it down but not enough sheesh I don’t remember it being this tough, after 7 minutes we went on to the next station. This was squats and weights just as I was about to flake out i heard “C’mon you can do this” From behind me, maybe this is the push I needed but I got to admit that meant Uh -Oh no stopping now or he’s cheers are going to fall flat so I just about managed the next station with the slam ball and jumps which should have kept his chants recognised as support but by the time I finished that round I was ready to throw up, I couldn’t even do eye contact with anyone incase it made me regurgitate. The trainer looked over to see how I was and as bad as I felt I just pointed at my Evian which was 3 feet away but like a mirage in a desert, I couldn’t speak for the fear of air entering my mouth causing the return of yesterdays dinner. I was only 15 minutes into the class when I recoiled to a corner of the room to recover after what seemed like 10 minutes I got up and casually waved goodbye mouthing “I’ll be back tomorrow”.
I said earlier I was grateful for my fitness levels, to think a year ago I was doing 3 intensity classes back to back and I still gave myself a hard time.
From now on I will appreciate my here and now a little more and not always look at what I could be achieving.

4 thoughts on “Yesterday’s Story Is Today’s Motivation

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